With the summer fast approaching and a dearth of yearbooks to sign, I think that the creation of a new summer ritual for twentysomethings is in order: summer resolutions. New Year’s Resolutions are ridiculous. I’ve never woken up after a long night of drinking and carousing and felt like making positive changes in my life, so why should the fact that the Rose Bowl is on make a difference? However, summer seems like a good time to try and fail, what with stuff being in bloom and all that. So, here are some of my summer resolutions.
1. First and foremost, solve the ant problem in my apartment. While in terms of infestations, I improved over 1L year by moving from vertebrate to invertebrate, I cannot abide the occasional collection of ants I find feeding on stray pieces of my cat Buckley’s (yes, named after William F.) food any longer. This solution will involve either an effective ant prophylaxis, an effective ant execution/removal system, or, if all else fails, total human capitulation a la Kent Brockman.
2. Read books that I have bought/acquired but law school prevents me from actually reading, and then buy new ones to read. First up, finish A Confederacy of Dunces and Miles Gone By, memoir of my cat’s namesake.
3. Play more poker. This isn’t really a healthy resolution, but that’s the beauty of summer resolutions. You aren’t stuck with the whole “New Year, clean slate” baggage. You can resolve to eat more carbs or less, whatever suits you.
4. Hit the bad beat at Riverside. See above.
That’s it for now.
Steve Wieland
fsford
timhilton
smahieu
Morgan N. Engling
maryiowa
jaimiesuzi
jarens
kevinjames
brieanne
lcm
Andrew
sandista
enwinfield
The ants have invaded our kitchen recently. I’ve declared them overlords of the sink and pantry area, but I remain sovereign of the bathroom, my fatherland.
1) My first resolution is to find a damned place to live this summer.
2) Confederacy of Dunces is INCREDI-GOOD.
I love your cat’s name. If you’re going to be a conservative I guess you should at least have some fun with it.
Brie and I are in a constant debate about the cat’s actual political leanings. He’s kind of reactionary (ie he sometimes bites), and likes to be left alone. I think the best conclusion is that he’s a Ron Paul supporter.
The ants really aren’t that bad, and Buckley gets a kick out of meowing and pointing at them, especially between the hours of three and five am.
Buckley is definitely not a conservative. I once caught him biting and scratching at Tim’s Mitt Romney button.
My summer resolution is to acquire a liberal-minded female kitten playmate for Buckley, to be named Daley (after Richard J. AND Richard M., and Eleanor, and all the other great political machinists of Chicago).
“Confederacy of Dunces” is an overrated book. There is much talk of “valves” and one good line about cheese dip.