I confess, I’m really a crotchety old woman hiding in a twenty-something’s body. I bake almond squares, I make decorative cross-stitch pictures for my boyfriend’s bathroom (it says ‘Go Fuck Yourself,’ but still), I drive the speed limit, I watch The Golden Girls, I treat my cat like a demigod, and I’m probably well on my way to becoming both deaf and blind. That said, I’d like to propose an informal code of human decency to be loosely followed in law school classrooms.
Rule the first: Leave the smelly lunches at home. Chances are, if you have to heat it and/or it require more than one piece of silverware, it’s going to stink, and Boyd’s inability to control the temparature never helps the situation. Notable offenders include anything involving tuna or egg salad or barbecue sauce. Yogurt, granola bars, bagels, fruit (unless it involves lots of crunching and mouth noises), and scentless sandwiches like a nice PB&J or turkey are all good options.
Rule the second: If you find yourself raising your hand more than everyone else, stop. Chances are good that nobody cares and people sort of hate you. This goes double for the first or last five minutes of class, or if you interrupt the professor withouth raising your hand.
Rule the third: Personal grooming should stay in the bathroom. (I confess, I’m an offender, but I think the occasional hairbrush swipe is acceptable.) One of the most unpleasant hours of class involved watching–and hearing–someone file their nails, letting the gross nail dust fall all over their chair. I know we’re busy, but letting yourself go is a sign of pride in law school! (See, e.g., “Omigod, I studied SO LATE last night I haven’t showered and I can’t fathom putting on pants without an elastic waistband.”)
Rule the fourth: Personal stories and anecdotes told in class are very rarely informative and very often embarassing (for you). The fact that you once went to a doctor is not helpful in Health Law. The fact that you can’t contract for sexual services does not mean we need to talk about the transcendent nature of your sex life in Contracts. Even if the professor seems interested, he’s just being nice, and everyone is probably uncomfortably choosing to check their facebook accounts while you’re talking.
These are just my crotchety old woman opinions, and as such, probably deserve no more consideration than the ramblings of your Great Aunt Myrna or similar. Anyone have any other rules to add?
Steve Wieland
fsford
timhilton
smahieu
Morgan N. Engling
maryiowa
jaimiesuzi
jarens
kevinjames
brieanne
lcm
Andrew
sandista
enwinfield
Rule the fifth: Don’t make general comments about the law in class, unless you’re asked to. No one cares about your unsolicited opinion of the law, we won’t be tested on that.
Rule the sixth: If you stroll into class 30+ minutes late and the class is only an hour long, you are not allowed to talk unless called on. Your general presence and tardiness is extremely annoying today. In accordance with the preceding rules do your speaking tomorrow.
I have to challenge the barbecue sauce sandwich rule. I’ve brought barbecue chicken sandwiches into the 4th floor lounge and microwaved them to great aplomb.
Lounges are totally different. They’re intended to be used for things like eating, so nobody really has a reasonable expectation of being free from food odors. Plus, if something offends you in a lounge, you can leave. In class, you can’t leave for a reason as dumb as bad food odors. It’s a terrible predicament to be in.
What about hummus in class? Is hummus in class allowed? The odor there is negligible, I think…
I agree hummus should be allowed. I’m sorry if my hummus odor bothered you today
Lynch on the other hand, should leave his steak and potatoes at home! He’s only allowed to bring fruit snacks. For me.
I’ve never had a problem with hummus, or most other snacks for that matter. It’s the full-blown meals that make me crazy with rage.
And, seriously, far be it for me to be a snack-by-snack dictator. Just…practice generally tactful eating is all I’m sayin’.
I just had to say that I LOVE the Golden Girls and am soo happy to hear that you do as well.
I like all of Rose’s Swedish references.
I always wondered about this. I was paranoid and stopped bringing tuna when we had to start school with the big kids this fall.
Also, Fleming’s food is generally stinky.
I wish law school could be in St. Olaf, Morgan.
Engling, I’m cutting you off.
Brie, my apologies. I know some of my stuff has to disgust you. I’m a big leftovers guy, and I must admit, I relish tormenting Morgan and Dustin, but I will try to clear certain dishes with you beforehand. Alternatively, I could eat the banana in Corps and the meal in Crim Pro.
Dude, totally not a big deal. I embellish for the sake of humor. Also, I have extraordinarily weird food aversions (just ask Tim about my fear of ketchup), so I know part of it is just me being finnicky and strange.
Lynch, I’m flattered that you carry all that lunch around just because of me. I’m saddened though that it seems you will still have a banana peel to leave on my books. I will allow it if you agree to keep bringing me fruit snacks.
Uff da.
Every week you tell me that you are going to pay me back Engling, but noooooooo……..you are too pre-occupied being boy crazy to feed me. Maybe I should ask your sister which food you hate the most and then break that out on you…
Hey I’m sorry undergrads are higher on my priorities list than buying you fruit snacks. I’m going to WalMart tonight. I’ll bring them to our corporations studying.
[...] law students, specifically, certain behaviors in class I find distasteful. (Refresh your memory here…and for the record, I’d like to add a rule to that post, stating that you should NOT [...]