Since my Johnny Mac secured the GOP nomination ages ago, I’ve been able to focus my energy on the one month that truly matters this year: October. And our campaign slogan that comes closer and closer to being true…next year is here.

Let me congratulate the Chicago Cubs on being the second team in MLB history to reach 10,000 wins. A fantastic feat really; but the most impressive statistic so far? The Cubs are tied for the best record in baseball. W. T. F.

Of course it is early in the season to be discussing records; considering the Cubs’ amazing second-half comeback last year, predicting the postseason now seems ridiculous. But at this point, nothing we as fans do or say can jinx the Cubs; they handle that just fine on their own. But it won’t happen this year. The dead weight [Mark Prior] is gone. We have a bullpen [sort of]. And 100 years to answer for. What I wouldn’t give to hear Harry Caray try to pronounce Fukudome.

How often the Cubs have broken my heart: watching them clinch in 2003 only to be Bartman’d. And then losing three to the D’Backs? Seriously. But here’s to the lifelong fans who keep coming back, who never waivered: the one who plans his studying around the game and gchats me updates during class…the one who has a Zambrano jersey for every day of the week…and the one who chose her undergrad university because it was a short train ride from Heaven I mean Wrigley. Also, Fukudome.

We’ve had to wait eight miserable years for Mac, and a lifetime for a World Series. Can U Believe? OH Yes We Can.