Seriously? unipr0n?
April 25, 2008 by fsford
I think we all consider ourselves fairly well-versed in the ways of the world. We are at one of the finest graduate institutions in the world, getting ready to go change the world. To that effect, we’ve seen plenty of things in our short (long? I don’t know how old you are) lives that have given us pause. Harry Potter/Snape fanfic, furries, even people who are attracted to Tony Danza.
Additionally, I went to a nerdy college. People there are into some strange things. These are people who think that showering is for special occasions and who think that a bathrobe-cum-jedi knight garb is acceptable for their 9am class.
However, I (naively) thought that I had heard it all. Until my friend told me about her latest… interest… (I promise, it’s library safe, fellow studiers)…
unipr0n. That’s right. Unicorn Porn Exists. I’ll repeat that again: Unicorn. Porn. Not only does it exist, but people are into it!
I’m going to put this out there: I think unicorns are hilarious. I have a unicorn magnet and a school folder that says WWUD (What Would A Unicorn Do?) Possible answers include: Chase the Wind, Spear Evil Things, Whinny and Rear, and Nuzzle a Newborn.
Apparently (and much to my chagrin), unipr0n is a big fat deal. There are people who are in business making unipr0n t-shirts, unipr0n ceramic figurines (to be fair, these also have a fair amount of naughty wood nymphs and sprites), unipr0n movies…. the list goes on.
In Japan, tentacle porn is one of their largest fetish markets. They have live-action and animated versions (again, I have some strange friends), but that’s a plant! THESE ARE UNICORNS! These are what little girls have painted on their walls, what old ladies have glass figurines of, what airbrushed t-shirt shops base their livelihoods painting!
I can deal with plant porn, I can deal with Harry Potter porn, I can deal with most anything. But unicorns? LEAVE. THEM. ALONE!
Am I alone in being shocked that unipr0n exists? Or was I too busy living in my G-Rated Unicorn Wonderland?
Steve Wieland
fsford
timhilton
smahieu
Morgan N. Engling
maryiowa
jaimiesuzi
jarens
kevinjames
brieanne
lcm
Andrew
sandista
enwinfield
I think its the sweetness, the whiteness, and the purity associated with unicorns that draws people to defile them.
What will those crazy fetishista nerds think of next??? I guess it’s not that farfetched though. I mean let’s face it, unicorns do have a giant phallic symbol growing out of the middle of their forehead. Apparently, some people just aren’t getting enough horn in their lives.
I’ve been getting some im’s from people either
a) doubting unipr0n’s existence or
b) wanting to see some.
Here you go:
http://www.worlddreambank.org/U/UNICORGY.HTM
Only virgins can ride unicorns. Does that mean that every unicorn porn story ends with the unicorn saying “Alright, now get off me, you slut.”?
Nobody who’s ever gotten kicked by a horse could possibly get off on that…
This is frightening.
If it exists…someone can have a sexual fantasy about it.
I should have become a sociologist instead of a lawyer…I could get paid to study the weird shit that people do and think about when they are not in the public eye.
Instead, as it stands, I get to go to trial and try to put the ones that cant keep it out of the public eye in jail (or defend them, I suppose).
hmmmm
On second thought being a lawyer sounds easier, does not require a dissertation, and is several years shorter program than a PhD. Probably pays better too.
Besides, if you spent your life studying the weird sexual reality that is human beings I think you would become rather cynical, even more so than as a lawyer since legal paychecks dull the pain of the human condition.
“who think that a bathrobe-cum-jedi knight garb is acceptable for their 9am class”
Ahh, memories.
I dated that bathrobe wearer and was best friends with that jedi knight wearer. Aah college.
I refer you now to my favorite angry liberal sex columnist, Dan Savage, and his column this week about a guy who’s into dragon and dino porn: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove
So ever thought about getting your OWN blog? This post just took a law school blog’s reputation down a notch in my book. People out in the world read this, just so you know.
Rule 34 of the internet: there is porn of it.
my understanding is that this blog was suppose to be fun, and that it didn’t need to be related to law at all. aren’t there about 5 million law blogs where students can go to one-up each other? i mean, it’s finals time and everyone is ridica-stressed. personally, the last thing i want to read while taking a break from studying is anything about the law.
fleming didn’t hurt anyone by mentioning that some people have a fetish concerning uniporn. i actually think it’s HILARIOUS. i told fleming that i needed to read something fresh and funny, ideally about unicorns and this is what she gave me. i am so very sorry for not requesting a post about economics or contracts. give me a break.
Charlie? CHAAARRRLIIIEEE? CHaarrrrrlieeee?
LEt’s go to th emagic mountain Charlie.
Yeay!
Not everyone applies the rules of strict construction to what is required of a “law student blog.” I personally find a rational basis in this whole affair. Is that law enough for ya Charlie?
I think having a student blog that can, in a single week, have posts about politics, sports, movies, law, and ridiculous and hilarious non sequiturs like this says something very positive about having a well-rounded student body. As long as we keep it within some loose standard of decency, which we have, I would never protest anyone’s post. I once ran a blog on Missouri Republican politics, and trust me, it’s better to have a permissive standard for what you can blog about.
This is definitely off-topic, but Medeiros: I feel like you should put an upside-down exclamation point in front of your name if you’re going to put one after your name. Then you could bring me back to the sweetness of Contracts class with Carassco. You know what else you could do? Somehow put a rose next to your name as well because he always said your name as if you were Don Juan.
Note: Piss off if my off-topic post on a law school blog offends you.
Good times…
I concur with all of the above except post #9.
Actually, we should start Google bombing and stuff so that whenever anyone types “Iowa Law” into a search engine they get this blog first.
I for one would rather go to a school where people are interesting and have some personality instead of a school that breeds “PC” people like poster #9 (we shouldn’t use his name as it will just encourage them).
I propose the following:
1. Get Janis to trademark the blog title so its official looking.
2. Advertise LSAT stuff or E and E’s
3. Make $$$$
4. Donate to alumni fund to raise our rankings back to somewhere respectable again
5. Do a dance in front of poster #9 as he and his narrow, “I like to snuff out kittens” viewpoint is proven exactly wrong.
i agree. that’s why fleming didn’t post anything inappropriate.
I think #9 has a point. If you want this blog to be taken somewhat seriously, maybe even bookmarked, by outsiders then maybe the writers here should think twice before posting material that may turn some readers off.
It depends on if you’re trying to target people outside of your law school social circles. If you aren’t then post away.
From the about page: “So, this blog is for law students, although don’t expect it to be all about the law. It’ll be political, it’ll be about books and music; it’ll also probably degenerate into the personal, gossipy, and angsty. However bad it gets around here, one thing that The First Floor will not do is permit anonymous blog posting. That’s for our less reputable competitors”
Seriously, what was wrong with the post? The author is just informing us all about something we (at least myself) never knew existed. Yesterday, CNN reported on penis theft in Africa, which I was also unaware of. Did CNN’s reputation drop for covering that story? There is nothing wrong or questionable about reporting on the issue. It’s the actual issue that we should all be concerned about.
Thanks for broadening my knowledge.
I love this post. Who knew of such things? And I agree with Kevin, thank you expanding my knowledge about unicorns.
Hahaha, this is amazing and who cares if it diverges slightly from law school topics? The last time I checked, blogs were supposed to be entertaining. Lighten up!
I think it is ridiculous that this many comments have been made regarding the “appropriateness” of this blog post. I would hope, especially during finals time, that law students would have better things to do with their time than cut down their fellow students. Yes, I would agree that the topic is not the most intellectually stimulating, but that doesn’t make it in poor taste. This kind of blog post isn’t what makes Iowa Law look bad. What makes Iowa Law look bad is when students take cheap shots or make snide comments at their fellow students. If you have a problem, email the blog writer personally. There is no need to be rude. Thank goodness at least one student has a sense of humor left.
We don’t pretend to represent the school. We also don’t post anonymously. #9, you can come write for us if you’d like, but you’d have to start putting your name on things too.
Also, anyone who wants to write for this blog can just send me an e-mail.
Wieland I sent you an email. And, alas, I am still without a canvas to share my thoughts with the world. And I had a REALLY funny thought the other day. You know me well enough to know that I do not have funny thoughts on a daily basis. I’m just saying.
Of course, if I don’t return from London, my status as a member of the “first floor” would be questionable.
Oh, and as to comment #9: we talk about porn in law school all the time…it’s called Con Law II.
Fleming: Good thing you have a unicorn magnet in the kitchen! You think saucy thoughts while you microwave your supper.